How To Write A Unique And Compelling Online Dating Profile

1 May 2013
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Although I have already written a blog ( with some tips to keep in mind when writing an online profile, they were very basic in nature. This blog takes the same topic a bit further and looks deeper into how to write a unique and compelling online dating profile.

Tip # 1: It’s not a popularity contest.

Most people are overly selective in their dating. If I had my way, everyone would “date” anyone who was brave enough to ask them for a date. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it works…for now.  So long as you intend to be selective, the goal of your profile should NOT be to write one that attempts to appeal to anyone and everyone. Rather, it should be written in such a way that it only attracts the people who you will find appealing and of interest.

Tip # 2: Take the time to understand your target audience.

How much thought have you given to the type of person you are hoping to attract with your online dating profile?  Once you’ve identified your “target audience”, ask yourself if you know how to attract them and get their attention.  Before writing the actual profile, I spend time with my clients ensuring they understand exactly who it is they are searching for and why. This makes writing the profile that much easier.

Just like Marketing campaigns – intent on selling a product or service – are targeted to a specific audience, so should your dating profile.Experts recommend tailoring your cover letters when conducting a job search and preparing for each interview by researching the specific company. A similar approach should apply to your online dating profile. Not to say that you should have different profiles that you swap out for each other, however, there should be some indication that it’s been tailored to a specific audience (but not too narrowly) and that you’ve spent some time (i.e. like you would spend researching a prospective new employer) getting clear on what and who you want.

Tip # 3: Don’t try too hard to be what you’re not.

Sometimes after reading a client’s profile for the first time, I’ll ask them what their intention was when they initially wrote it and will often get a response like: “I was trying to be funny” or “I was trying not to sound so business-like”. It’s OK (actually, it’s necessary) to make your profile sound appealing, however, that doesn’t require you to be what you’re not. If you’re not a funny person, don’t try to write a funny profile…for example.

While this may sound basic, if not obvious – it’s not. I would estimate that 80% of people writing online dating profiles are unintentionally, yet significantly, misrepresenting their wonderful selves – and usually in an unfavourable manner.

Tip # 4: No essays.  You are not writing a dissertation.

Most profiles are written in paragraph form and read like an essay.  After wading through a bunch they start to sound the same.  Anyone who has tried online dating would agree that many profiles are repetitive, bland, generic or vague.  With Tip # 3 in mind, try to be creative in a way that suits you. My profile – for example – is 10 Admittedly Trivial Things You May Want To Know. Cheesy? Perhaps. But so am I, at times.  The feedback I’ve received though is positive – I’ve been told that it makes me sound fun, enthusiastic, well-rounded, inviting, and friendly…all true!   :-)